maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
