OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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