Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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