xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
