Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
