YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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