Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
did i just pee glitter
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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