this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
