We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
