I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i think i just lost a toe
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
