i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize