Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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