i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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