Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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