Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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