for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
