this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
