billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
