We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Can I color on your dick again?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize