well most of my day revolves around power hour
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
