Got a toothbrush?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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