I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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