She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
