yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
