Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
