I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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