But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
