dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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