You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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