I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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