Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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