I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
