The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she pinky promised me she was 18
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
