I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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