Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
