You smell like a Billy Joel song
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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