you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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