I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
