Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
