When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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