Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
it was like his penis was on wheels.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
