my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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