Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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