real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
