So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Randomize
