my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
