Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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