Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
