Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
did i just pee glitter
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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