Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
