On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
