wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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