I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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