To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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