Do you still have your period?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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