This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
