The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
