dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
