Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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