i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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