I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.