As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
