I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
