So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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